I realize that someone reading my blogs might not get a very good sense of who I am. So, in the best words I know how, as noone can explain themselves very well, I am going to try to fix that.
I am 23... young, I know. You wonder if I have even had enough life experience to relate to you, right?
I wish I didn't. haha
I wish I didn't have such a long 23 years.
Let me start with the subject all women start with when they describe their lives. MEN. As if our lives as women simply revolve around the world of men. HA. I don't think, since about 13, that I have been without a man however. Married at 16 due to a horrible incident when I was 11... you'll hear about this in my memoir eventually... to a verbally, mentally, and sometimes physically abusive husband. I was no angel either though... what do you expect of a married 16 year old who has never spread their wings? Finally got out at age 20... to move 3,000 miles to California. In the past 4 years since I moved here there have been a military man with extreme depression from the two tours in Iraq that he served... (I know things I don't want to know) ... a few complete assholes that aren't even worth mentioning...and a moron who tried to tell me he was signed to a professional hockey player contract... (He told me we were moving to Canada for him to join his team and I actually believed him... IDIOT)...
I won't talk about the new one... the fiance of a year... who has yet to be a major asshole... I refuse to jinx what seems to be a good thing. ;-) Luv ya babe!
How about talents? Is that a good subject to move to?
I've been singing since I could speak. I was adopted by my grandfather on my biological dad (who I have never met)'s side and he has been in bluegrass bands most all of his life. Anyway, he would be practicing his songs, trying to learn the lyrics, and I would walk out singing them. I have always been able to do this, you see, memorize the lyrics of other people's songs. When I write my own, however, I can't remember more than the chorus. Stupid. haha So, I started out singing blue grass and country... and that's still what I like to sing most... country... but I have added showtunes to the mix. Who can't love singing show tunes? These are the ones you get to let loose with and show off with the most! haha
(I AM going to load videos of me singing on here soon... I just have to get up the guts to do it... haha!)
I've been writing songs, poetry, and stories since middle school. I love the way I write and I get sucked into my own writing... even though I wrote it. That's why I love writing. Because if I can get lost in it and I wrote it, then I can weave stories for other people to get lost in. What is better than an hour or two of falling helplessly into a created world where you can forget the troubles of your own life? Where the story feels so real that you watch for the characters to appear in daily life? When the main character does something you have wanted your whole life to do and it inspires you to try just a little harder...
I've also been beading and crafting since I was little. I was just telling my fiance about the time my grandmother bought me a big bead sorter full of seed beads... the little tiny ones... only they were all mixed together. First thing I did was dump them all into bags and sort them into colors. Took me three months... little old 8-year-old me. My artistry seems to be the only thing I have a huge amount of patience for... and the part of my life where my OCD is the worst. haha I always want things I make or sing, etc. to be perfect.
Let's see... what's next???
How about some random facts about me?
--- I hate politics and refuse to participate in them. I make my own destiny and who rules what has no power in deflecting what I want to do most in life.
--- I am a collector of random things. Small things that I put in to the corners of my drawers and boxes all around... some memories, some things I am fascinated with, and some things that just make me happy... I call them trinkets... other people call them smalls... treasures... etc.
--- If it's crafty, I do it. PERIOD.
--- I have no friends but best friends, and none of them are in California.
--- I am extremely afraid of pregnancy and birth... it's called Tocophobia. I can barely look at a pregnant woman passing me on the street without getting sick. Which is perfect, because I want to adopt a child, as I was adopted. It saved my life and I want to do that for someone else.
--- I make random crazy noises to annoy the people around me.. or just to make them laugh.
--- And lastly... for now... I am a jack of all trades, but of course, a master of none. I took years of piano lessons (was training to be a concert pianist), but I quit and now I can barely play. I know only a little about making jewelery, but adapt well. I cook very well, but can't make a creme brulee or a souffle. I know a little about a lot of things, but not all about a little. lol
Is there something you would like to know about me? Something that makes me more relatable? Because really, why would you read a blog about someone's life that you don't relate to or find interesting? I have done alot and seen alot and been through alot in my short 23 years. Let's just see if we don't have something in common... haha
Night, all. Sorry for the touch of melancholy in my otherwise cheerful thrift store finds. I'm thinking already of changing my blog name... tortured artist, passionate artist, something good...
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